DaLzz' Random Ramblings

Loss and Hope

Prior to writing this blog I had been doing some reminiscing about the last year and where my life was heading.. Today I received my offer of acceptance for university. Only 4 years late. I got there though. When I opened the envelope I jumped up and down screaming OMG I GOT IN!!.. Successfully scaring the man walking past the mail box. Sorry about that.

I spent the afternoon filling out the necessary documents to send back to them and finished my last TAFE units off.. Finally.. I’m a Uni student.

My play list has been dishing out some rather emotional music which made me think about the Black Saturday fires again. (It always does) I dont think I’ve really recovered from the mess those fires left me in. Losing 6 people I knew in 2 days really left a mark. One of the girls, Penny, whom I did year 12 with was the most gentle caring person in the world and deferred uni to travel and than stay in the community and help. She coached at the local swimming pool and worked at the IGA. Every body knew her and her sister. Both beautiful, non-judgmental, carefree girls. They both cared so passionately about human and animal rights and would lend an ear for any one who needed it. Both sadly perished in the fires together by staying to try and secure their property and let their animals out. I miss Penny everyday.

I always wanted to say I had a person I looked up to, a person that made me a better human being, that made me strive to do the best i could.. I honestly now think I can say Penny is that person. She truly lived life to the full and always put others first but never forgot her own needs. Little things never got the better of her. I feel I need to re-evaluate my life and set some hefty goals.

This is a start I suppose:

I’m going to apply myself and do the best I possibly can when it comes to this 6 year degree I’m committing to.

I’m going to stop blaming all my hurt on others and work through it.

I’m going to be more tolerant of others and stop blowing situations out of proportion.

I’m going to stop seeing the negative in everything and let people make their own mistakes.

I’m going to work through all the loss I’ve suffered this last year and a half and come to terms.

I’m going to use Penny’s wonderful outlook on life to become a better person.

I feel better since putting it in writing…so hopefully some of this works.

Miss you PenPen xx

29 August 1987 - 07 February 2009